Find your voice

Why are women so afraid to speak out? I’m not referring to harrassment and assault when I ask this, I mean in everyday life. Over the past while i’ve became captivated by powerful females, outspoken women, a ‘girl boss’ determined to own herself and do what she wants, when she wants. I still feel this is a niche within our society and it has led me to question, why?

Females are unbelievable, but for some reason we let our voice be drowned out. As a nurse I work within a female dominated environment and I see on a daily basis the strength of my colleagues who persevere in the face of adversity. Nothing gets in their way of what they have to achieve, but as soon as we leave the ward safety net that changes. I for one am a testiment of this and I see it in so many others daily. When I say we let our voice be drowned out I don’t mean in relation to what you are having for dinner or watching on television but more women’s views on equality, the environment, politics to name a few topics in an endless list.

Before anyone pipes up, I am aware of all the movements over the past few years such as me too, free the nipple and so forth but where are they now? They get a year in the spotlight and then it’s as though we are back to square one. What can we do that will actually make a permanent change in todays’ society? Women have been ‘fighting’ for their own right since 1848 and here we are in 2021 still doing the same.

I am a very outspoken and opinated person in everyday life with people I am familiar and comfortable with, but when it comes to speaking out about things I’m passionate about I shy away and become an introvert. Why? This is what I am questioning. I’m a manager and I’m great at my job but take me out of that comfort I let fear creep in and other peoples criticisms. Don’t let me tarnish everyone with the same brush because there are so many incredible woman out there who have this ability and I admire them so much.

My journey of self discovery has been boosted recently from watching so many female empowering roles, particularly ‘The Bold Type’ on netflix. Three 20 somethings working within a magazine in 3 different areas, owning it and achieving their dreams. They are all outspoken, ask the difficult questions and go for broke. It had made me reflect upon my 20’s, particularly as I’m in my last few months of them, and wonder what my purpose was? Yes I have had a great career and educational opportunities but I never wanted to be the person who got up went to work and came home and did that on repeat. So I feel writing this is allowing me to own my voice and make that change. I started out my 20s with a 5 year plan of where I wanted to be, did that come to fruition? Hell No! It imploded at the first hurdle and I had to adapt, which was a journey within itself.

As a women I feel it’s important we support each other and although at times we are great at doing this we are also quick to tear each other down, which lets others win and shows why we are still fighting for womens rights in 2021. Men don’t do this to the same extent. Even if men have had a disagreement they move past it and don’t dwell on it, women however will have examined every aspect of the disagreement and hold the grudge. We are such different entities, with different emotions, views and reactions which make the world run, making me question is this why we are still trying to find our voice? Is this the way it is suppose to be? I for one do not want to be defined by this and feel I have as much right to speak out as ‘Emma Watson’ or ‘Greta Thunberg’. Is it going to be on a worldwide scale, probably not but at least I have my voice and I refuse to let it be drowned out anymore.

So how do I make a change? Firstly I need to hear my own voice. Many of us don’t even listen to ourselves to understand our own point of view and what we believe it. We all have a platform these days through social media and I have often been one to try and not rock the boat. Why? I never wanted confrontation or any angst from people, well how I percieved it. Is it really confrontation or just different opinions and a constructive debate? This is where we tend to shy away because you often get so many ‘keyboard warriors’ who hide behind the safety of the keyboard and computer screen but when in the real world don’t speak their mind. If you aren’t willing to say it publicly, you shouldn’t type it, simple. A philosophy I will choose to live by.

My blog is my platform, although I may not have thousands of followers it has allowed me to find part of my voice and I’m going to keep using it for this purpose. Things I write won’t be to everyones’ taste but thats the point of being outspoken and having an opinion. As a woman who has choose to surpress her own voice due to fear, I hope me choosing to own my voice will encourage others to own theirs or will I still be saying in 2041 that women are still ‘fighting’ for their rights?

Now is the time to hear yourself, be heard and have purpose. People don’t want perfection they want honesty.

Stephanie xo

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